What does a new year mean to you?

For us, it usually comes in as quietly as any other night. In our bed, watching some TV and falling asleep as early as our minds will allow. The kids go to bed at the usual time. Princess isn’t quite old enough to really know anything is going on. Our church was unable to have its usual fireworks display this year, so there wasn’t much to do.

When I was younger it seemed like more of an ordeal than it is now. Especially as I got old enough to enjoy it with my friends but not as old as I am now that even if I could go to a party, I’m not sure I would.

It does bring a sense of reflection. I’ll keep it short, but needless to say our year end letter to friends and family probably wouldn’t read like most. I could have never told you a year ago that we would be actively engaged in the medical marijuana movement. Especially my wife. I laugh every time I think about her advocating for this. For those you who know her, this is just a touch ironic.

Monkey has had a long year. We’ve gradually improved the care he has received through the year which ended with a switch to an amazing neurologist with an incredible staff that genuinely cares for more than just the drugs our son takes, but for all of him. It also ended with access to the CBD oil that we thought would never come. It is slow going on how best to use and balance. We’re newbies in a world that we have just fully started to see and we have a lot to learn. Princess has grown faster than I could ever have imagined. And well, we’ve just been hanging in there.

I’ve never been one for a list of resolutions though. For the last few years Morgan has chosen a word to focus on for the coming year. You may have done this or heard of others who have. Instead of setting unattainable and faltering goals that require you to change beyond your capacity and natural inclinations in life, you choose just one word. One that will guide your thoughts, desires, emotions, decisions, goals, and every other aspect of life.

I’ve never really put much thought to this either. I probably can’t even tell you what her words have been in the past. However, as I was driving to work one morning this week, I heard the Christian radio hosts I listen to talking about this idea. Again, I didn’t pay it much attention. But it seemed to plant somewhere in my mind. My word for this year is driven. I didn’t so much decide this or put time into the idea. It just kinda happened.

Have you ever reached a point in your life where something feels like it has to give? I don’t mean to say that things are bad, just that they could be better and in some ways very much need to be. Well, I find that we are in just such a place.

So as the days have passed I have put some reasonable thought to what it is I should be driven towards and for. Well, I started in some of the most natural places. I need to be professionally driven to continue doing my job to the best of my ability. To work hard and study hard so that the rewards are equal. Be driven to be the best father I can to my children. Fight every battle that presents itself to Monkey with all of my self while loving Princess with equal ambition. Driven to be a better husband. To love, understand, help, support, encourage my wife with more patience and less single-mindedness.

Last but not least be driven towards Christ. If I can be driven to love with the same grace, peace, and mercy that I am loved, then rest will take care of itself.

I cannot truly express my desire to be driven for these things. It has become a stirring feeling that seems like it can lead to a more intentionally lived life.