It has been a while hasn’t it? It was a busy fall around our house with #3 (that’s official folks, that’s what I’ll call the little fella here) coming the end of October, holidays, etc, etc, etc.

One quick note about Thanksgiving. We stayed home as #3 was only a few weeks old and it was AMAZING! We usually chase tail around the upper part of SC on Thanksgiving and while we love seeing our families, it was great to sit at home in my sweat pants and not just see ALL of Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, but see it twice! You’re jealous, I know. Give it a go sometime, we’ll have to again one day.

We had a seizure free Christmas for the first time three years. That was enough Christmas for us without a doubt.

Six years ago last Tuesday, February 9th our lives abruptly changed course. Morgan woke up in the middle of night, slipped out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

I sleep hard, really hard. I had no idea for at least 10min she wasn’t next to me. I got up when I saw the bathroom light on to check on her.

As I come in she says, “I think my water broke”. In our first-time-parent un-knowing we debated the merits of the puddle she has just left in the bed and after more discussion than was necessary decided to call the doc.

Monkey was on his way.. sort of. For the next seven week we lived in the hospital. It was probably the last time we spent that kind of dedicated time together for such a long period of time. It feels like yesterday and my back certainly still remembers the awful pullout chair that was my bed and Morgan’s the hospital bed.

That first night lasted forever. I tried to stay calm but a co-worker of Morgan’s had ruptured early (gone into early labor for you fellas or non-birthing types) not the month before and ended up loosing her child. I remember going to see her and her husband during the few days they had with their baby girl.

It was all I could think about. I think I might have let my mind go a few times to what could be the worst.

The worst never came and 54 miraculous days went by without Monkey or Morgan developing an infection. The docs decided not to gamble for more time and induced labor at 34 weeks. We went home three days later with a healthy baby boy.

Then came the real miracles. As most of you know, within a month of Princess being born the seizures started. I can’t tell you what happened when anymore, and I really can’t tell you about anything else that might have been going on during that time.

People will tell you parenting and specifically parenting a special needs child is like running a marathon. The next two years felt like running wind sprints  sprinkled through that marathon.

Somewhere in the middle of all the chaos we found what I will loosely call balance. It was more like learning how to overcorrect and still catch the next step.

Somehow we became advocates and a voice for our son as well as others that suffer from seizures. We have spent that last two years doing what we can to help get access to CBD in our state and thanks to a very brave mother whose child has the same genetic disorder as Monkey, we do. We will be forever indebted.

We have and do lose sight of the splendor and mercy that has come our way over the last six years. But as I write these words Monkey is having a late night laughing fit with a toothless smile that brings my heart to life again.

Ever think you might forget to see a miracle? Sometimes it feels like we might or that we may not again. Life bears painfully down and tries to squeeze the last of your hope from your soul. But then, the goodness and grace of Christ still finds a way to shine. If only for brief moments in the midst of what for us feels like unbearable weight.

I know that the coming months hold lots of change for us. I don’t know what it will look like but I know that life will go on and we must choose to keep up. Time goes by too quickly. A lesson that has proved to be too real lately around our small town.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, even as our lives feel like they just get crazier, our only choice is keep fighting and preserving and remember that we know the One who can carry the burdens that we cannot.

“But the God who sometimes can’t be found, will wrap his arms around you…” Bebo Norman, Rita