I was inspired to write a blog because of my son. He has a rare genetic disorder that, at the age of four has left him unable to walk or talk or function at what most would consider a normal developmental level. I searched for successful blogs by dads on the topic of special needs children. While finding some that were, let’s say useful. Most were as sterile and institutional as the overpriced equipment and ‘specialty’ devices that are marketed to us to presumably make our children’s lives easier.

My question was where is the dad that recounts the daily struggle of parenthood in a forward and honest way. Let me be clear, I don’t mean the dad that laments the loss of his hobbies or ability to drink beer and play golf at his whim. I don’t mean the polarized stands on either end of the spectrum. I mean the honest; I participate in every aspect of my child’s life because I am his dad, period. Not because I am trying to relive my youth, make the wealthiest predecessor, or create the next ruler of the world. Not that dads of special needs kids have those as options, but I am also looking for that dad of ‘normal’ kids. I’m looking, but I know where you are. You’re doing what you always do. You love your children and family with everything you are and hope to be. You allow your children to change your lives. So don’t misunderstand my search, as one for something I don’t think exists. I’m just tired of looking around and only seeing the bad, over cultured, under committed, man.

So here I am, writing. Life is hard and challenging. I am not looking for pity. I am looking to provide encouragement and perhaps direction to dads specifically, but people in general, to overcome and share an experience that leaves us searching.

What do we do when life throws us something unexpected?

Well, some crumble, understandably so at that. Some fight what they can’t see. Then what we all should aspire to, to continue. Continue living and helping live. I will not pretend like this is easy, but as parents, as fathers, do we really have a choice? I mean, yes, I could quit. Whatever that means… stop caring for my children and my family? THAT IS RIDICULOUS!

I realize we live in a culture and world where people just give up all the time on lots of things. I’m not talking about soccer practice or violin. I’m talking about the ease with which we quit what is important; marriage, jobs, providing, nurturing, and loving each other.

Really, I want to provide an alternate story. I want dads especially, but people everywhere to provide a better story. The one that most of us live, the one where difficulty arises and we preserve. But better than that, the story where we thrive.